Chapter 13 begins with Merry
describing Sholto’s tentacles as he walked towards her. The tentacles were in
three distinct types of tentacles: thick muscular tentacles that could be used
as arms and they did any heavy lifting, longer thinner tentacles around the
ribs and upper stomach uses like very sensitive fingers, and just above the
belly button were shorter dark tipped tentacles which made Merry wonder if
“what lay in his pants was sidhe or not”…yeah…
Thank you to my good friend Jonathan Bruce for this amazing photo representation of our Sholto.
Merry reaches out and starts
stroking one of the larger, thicker tentacles and begins explaining how she
knows what each grouping of the tentacles were used for. A nightflyer named
Bhatar helped her father to raise her, and through him she learned all about
nightflyer anatomy. She explains to Sholto that she knows the shorter tentacles
around his navel were used as a secondary sexual organ. She explains that
Bhatar used to caress visiting women with those tentacles because they were often
too afraid of offending him to tell him to stop or that it made them
uncomfortable.
SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT ROLE MODEL
THERE, MERRY.
Seriously? This monster would take
his tiny penises and rub them all over women who were too afraid to tell him
no? But just because he was nice and kind and helped to raise Merry this is
okay behavior? Oh LKH tries to explain it off that it’s just an “in-joke”
between the sluagh, that they’d touch the sidhe or other fey with what
basically amounts to a boob, teeheehee it’s totally okay guys, right???
Ugh.
Anyway Merry begins stroking and
playing with those tiny penis tentacles on Sholto which makes him all shuddery
and shit. She realizes that the darker tips are actually tiny suckers. She
tells him that the suckers had a specific job when with female nightflyers, but
she’s curious as to what they could do for her. So Sholto helps Merry to
undress and then those tiny penis suction cups get all up in her tits.
Merry eventually asks him to stop
and to take his pants off so she could see the rest of him. She pulls them down
and OH THANK GOD he’s got a perfect human penis “like a carved alabaster
sculpture”.
Sexy.
She begins playing with his junk
and realizes that his father wasn’t nightflyer royalty, as if he was descended
from a royal nightflyer, he would have long spine inside his penis. She wonders
how Sholto was able to become King of the Sluagh, then, if he wasn’t royalty.
Turns out the sluagh elect their leaders, it is not an inherited title.
Throughout the entire scene, Merry
is being rather scientific with Sholto. She knows what she is doing to him is
causing him pleasure, but she keeps herself rather distanced because she
realizes that she could not be with Sholto with all his extras. However, she doesn’t
want to tell him that just yet. She wants to make Sholto feel good before
telling him the bad news, so she goes down onto her knees and you can guess
where her mouth goes next!
She’s going to town on Sholto with
her giant princess maw when she notices his skin begin to glow. This is a thing
that happens, when the sidhe become roused with pleasure their skin glows and
their eyes light up, like shiny sexy nightlights. She pauses for a second to
ask Sholto to undo his hair, and he does so. His hair is long, straight, white,
and down past his knees, because LKH is obsessed with long hair and apparently
having hair that long is super sexy?
Whatever, Merry loves the long
sidhe hair and begins reminiscing about how much she loved it, feeling her
lover’s hair draped over her, like the softest silk. Sholto touches her with
one of his tentacles, and Merry shudders with pleasure instead of disgust for
the first time. Merry asks him to drape his hair over her, then licks him one
last time when the door bursts open.
Nerys the Grey, one of the hags,
runs toward Merry. Merry moves to grab her gun from under one of the pillows on
the bed, but the chapter ends with her knowing she will not reach it in time.
Characters Introduced:
Bhatar – a nightflyer who helped
raise Merry. Total creeper. (He was actually mentioned in a previous chapter
but I didn’t feel like mentioning him then/his presence in that chapter wasn’t
really important)
Themes Introduced:
It’s totally okay to grope chicks
with your tentacle penises when they have no idea what those tentacles are used
for!
Sex: Some oral business.
I’m amazed with the blowjob scene
that LKH didn’t have Merry shove her mouth over Sholto’s non-erect penis like
she has Anita Blake do CONSTANTLY. Apparently girl loves sucking a floppy dong,
balls and all.
Labels: A Kiss of Shadows, Book 1, book review, faeries, night hags, sex, tentacles, urban fantasy
