It's a Trailer Park of Emotion!: Seduced by Moonlight

Chapter 23 begins half an hour later and everyone is now sitting at a table on a stage with microphones in front of them. For some reason they all had to change their clothes, even Merry. She’s now wearing a super short black pleated skirt. Remember a few chapters ago when she was SO WORRIED she’d freeze to death in the Illinois winter? Who cares about that shit! Her skirt is so short that she’s flashing her thigh-high pantyhose because apparently those are still considered sexy? Pro Tip: they aren’t. You dress like you were super sexy in the 90s, Merry.

Merry and Co are answering lots of questions and somewhere in the middle of it Merry gets all sad. The last big press conference she participated in was when her father was killed. So Doyle TOTALLY BREAKS CHARACTER and sort of half-hugs her in front of everyone. The questions range from whether or not Merry has chosen a husband, why she’s returned to faerie, and which guard is best in bed.

“Which of your guards is the best in bed?” This from a female reporter.
I shook my head enough to make my hair swing, and the emerald earrings catch the light. “Oh, now-“ Madeline whispered the woman’s name in my ear, “- Stephanie, a lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”
“But you’re not a lady,” a man’s voice piped up from the back of the room. I knew the voice. He’d spoken loud enough that the room had gone quiet, so that his next shout was very clear: “Just another faerie slut. Royal blood doesn’t change that.”
I leaned into the microphone and made my voice low and rich. “You’re just jealous, Barry.”

Hahaha YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS. I love this. I really need to find the blog post where LKH goes on her rant about how jealous all us former fans who didn’t like how she ruined her Anita Blake series with sex are. Because we’re obviously not mature enough to handle all the sex, or how real the sex is, etc etc etc. It was an entertaining read, and I have no clue if it’s even still anywhere online. If I were her, I’d have taken that down immediately after posting. Actually, no, I’d never have posted it because what a stupid fucking reason to flip out. Jesus.

Anyway, so Barry Jenkins, the reporter who Merry tortured and stuff after her father was killed, is back to harass her because he’s a bad, bad man who is just jealous of Merry’s many lovers. Back in the first book, Merry’s ex-fiancee Griffin had sold racy photos to the press and allowed Jenkins to be the first to write about it. Griffin fled after that, and even though the fucking queen can FIND ANYONE ANYWHERE, he’s yet to be found. I don’t even think he ever comes back at all, so whatever. It is stupid to bring Jenkins back as well. Merry still has a restraining order against him, and she tells him so. The MANY POLICE OFFICERS in the room start swarming around Jenkins anyway before he can do anything or create even more of a scene, but Merry decides they must do something to distract the rest of the press from the scene with Jenkins otherwise they press will just focus on that with their stories, and Merry will have to relive her father’s death, or something.

Doyle and Frost asks what Merry wants them to do, and Frost turns his back to the audience. Just then, a gun goes off, so Frost throws himself on top of Merry. They later learn that a cop had pulled the gun intending to shoot Merry. Doyle is quicker, however, and shoots the bespelled cop before he can get a second short off. Then all the other guards pull their swords out and come running. They get Frost off of her and realize that Frost is injured. Merry is covered in his blood. Barinthus takes Merry’s hand to help her up, and he brushes against the magical ring.

Suddenly, the room floods with warm water, and the only two people left in the room are Merry and Barinthus. They’re somehow both naked and Barinthus is caressing Merry with his gross webbed hands. Barinthus realizes what is happening and asks Merry what she’s done, but when Merry responds it isn’t her voice that speaks. It’s the voice of the Goddess, and she tells him that she is bringing him back to his godhead. They start grinding against one another in the water, but not actually fucking. This causes the magic in the room to build up until it eventually explodes from beneath them.

I felt the wave of power coming up from underneath us, like some huge, dark creature, swimming up fast and faster, sleek and dark and deadly. It hit us in a wave of power that threw the sea into towering waves, and boiled the land underneath us so that steam filled the air. The water was no longer warm but hot, hot enough that I cried out and jerked my mouth free of his. I saw his face, felt his hands on my hips, felt his body thrusting up into mine, and it wasn’t just the hard length of him. IT was as if the miles and miles of ocean underneath me were rushing between my legs, spilling into me, through me, over me, and we were pushed into the air on a column of water that glistened like crystal, and glittered with bits of burning rock, like melting fire. I understood now why he’d asked my permission, because I wasn’t a goddess, I was only Merry, and I could not hold all that he offered. I screamed, half in pleasure, as he brought me, and half in fear, because I could feel no end to it.

So they were fucking, apparently. Or, they were in the magical weird world where they were both naked and submerged in water. As Merry screams, Barinthus yells out “Enough!” and they both crash back into the real world. Luckily, the rest of the guards had formed a tight circle around them as to block the press from seeing what happened. However, when Merry and Barinthus came to, the water from their weird sex world also exploded out over everyone in the room, soaking them through. The only two people who weren’t wet were Merry and Barinthus.

Seduced by Moonlight - Chapter 23