Chapter 24 begins with them all piling into a limo. Not the
special magical limo from the first book, the Black Coach, but just a plain ol’
regular stretch limo. Merry then notices that Frost’s jacket is covered in
fresh blood. She orders him to take off his jacket so she can see, but he
fights her on it because he’s “not badly hurt” and of course there has to be a
fight over the stupidest possible thing ever each chapter.
Turns out Frost is angry because he realized that Doyle let
the bespelled cop get a shot off, the shot that hit Frost, before taking him
out. As this isn’t something Doyle would normally do, they then realize that he
had fallen under a spell. “A spell of reluctance”, because that is A Thing.
After Barinthus points this out, Doyle is all “oh dudes, I totally could sense
the spell”.
So whoever is driving the limo takes a corner too quickly
and Merry falls into Galen’s lap.
“You
need to sit down,” Galen said. If you don’t want to get wet, then sit on
Barinthus’s lap.”
“I do not think so,” Barinthus said, and his voice held a tone I’d never heard
before.
“Why not?” Galen said.
Barinthus spilled his long leather coat off his lap where he had folded it
shut. His pale blue pants were dark and stained just over his groin. “I am not
exactly dry.”
This, my friends, is the bullshit I put up with for you.
So they all begin to worry about what the queen will do to
Barinthus, because he’s not exactly a part of Merry’s entourage of fucktoys and
is still under the celibacy geas or whatever. Merry doesn’t think the queen
will try anything, because she specifically stated that Merry should sleep with
any to whom the ring reacts. However, the other guards, especially the new
ones, don’t think this is the case. They had all assumed that Barinthus had
touched the ring before, but that it had not reacted to him at all.
“I
never lied to anyone about the ring,” Barinthus said.
“No, we never lie to one another,” Usna said, “but we’ll omit so much that it
would be more sporting to simply lie.” He let the wet shirt fall to the floor
of the limo and stood up enough to start working at his belt.
“Are you actually going to strip in the car?” I asked.
“I am wet through and through, Princess. If I can get the clothes off, I will
begin to dry. The clothes will stay wet longer than my skin will.”
“It is true that the ring sparked for me when Meredith first returned to the
courts, but I thought then that I could be of more use to her if I remained at
the courts, as her ally. Sadly, I still think so.”
“The queen will give you no choice,” Usna said, “except to see the Hallway of
Mortality before you bed the princess. That choice you may have.”
What? What does that last sentence even mean?
So anyway, they begin discussing how more powerful the ring
is now than when Merry last returned to Faerie, and Rhys pulls out the magic
cup. JESUS CHRIST, WHY. The last few chapters went into great detail about how
Merry DOESN’T EXACTLY TRUST some of the guards that her aunt sent to her, so
why the fuck are they already pulling out the fucking cup?
Apparently all the drama about the guards is totally for
nothing, because they all begin discussing how Merry acquired the magic cup. No
one quite believes that it came to her in a dream. Usna, now totally naked,
crawls over to Merry to see the cup, and then this happens:
I
was inches away from Usna where he knelt. Perhaps I had been too much among the
humans, but it struck me as odd that he could be this close to me nude and not
be arosed. Something in me felt slighted by that. Childish? Maybe. But I had
the almost irresistible urge to cup him in my hand and make him notice me.
Remember all the big hoo-hah Merry makes CONSTANTLY about
how the sidhe don’t treat nudity as a purely sexual thing? Remember? Because
LKH sure doesn’t!
The driver of the limo stops and tells them all that the
road ahead of them is totally flooded and they can’t cross the bridge that will
take them to Faerie, however there hasn’t been any rain (MAYBE BECAUSE IT’S
FUCKING JANUARY?) so now they’re wondering if the water came from Merry and
Barinthus’s water fuckfest. Merry tells them about how each time she brings one
of her guards into their godhead or power, some huge natural event happens, or
some body-altering event, like Sage turning sidhe or Nicca’s new wings,
happens. Merry explains that everything has happened during sex as well, and
they’re all like “WHOA NO, YOU TOTALLY DIDN’T HAVE SEX WITH SAGE AND NICCA AT
THE SAME TIME”
Well, it’s because the queen has already decided for Merry
that she is to start taking multiple lovers at the same time, especially those
that have plant and agricultural deity backgrounds. Which is why she sent
Amatheon and Onilwyn (I can spell both their names without needing to see it on
the page. This is incredibly saddening.), because they are both plant or earth
sidhe.
And how convenient, the water that is flooding the road has
started to recede, so they’re able to begin the drive again.
“We
may have flooded every river and stream around St. Louis,” Doyle said. “How
much worse could it be?”
“St. Louis used to be part of a great inland sea, about a million years ago,
give or take a millennium,” I said, softly.
The silence in the car was suddenly thicker than before, heavy with a sort of
shared horror. “Kitto got a small earth tremor. Nicca and Sage got a windstorm,”
Galen said. “I don’t think bringing Barinthus back into his godhead would rate
sinking most of a continent.”
But, hasn’t it been said before that Barinthus’s godhead was
one of the most powerful? Like, there is still fear whenever anyone mentions
his prior name, Manannan Mac Lir. So, yeah, I totally think flooding the stupid
Midwest could easily have happened here.
Anyway the chapter ends with Merry being afraid that her new
ability to raise enough power to flood St. Louis and bring forth sidhe godhead
is too powerful and makes her blood run cold. But LOL THAT COULD ALSO JUST BE
THE PUDDLE OF WATER SHE’S SITTING IN TOO
LOL LOL FUNNY RIGHT? Yeah, that’s how the chapter actually ends. Yup.
LKH attempting humor. She writes jokes like a grandpa.
Labels: book review, Seduced by Moonlight
