It's been a while, friends. I'm sorry for that. Life + second job + wedding planning + everything got the best of me, and I've been busier than ever. BUT NOW, now, we've started fostering cats and kittens, and I am trying to spend more time hanging out with them. Which means more time for reading. Which means more time for reviewing :)
I work part time at a bookstore now. So, when there's some down time, I browse our store's website for new book ideas. I came across one last night that I've known about for a while, but never bothered digging into much. But then I saw the reviews.
They're glorious. Take a look:
The sex scenes weren’t even hot to me, they were formulaic. With all her rotating lovers you’d think it would be different every time, but the sex scene’s just feel cut/paste/insert name here, to me. ... At one point the discussed women tasting like meat or fish. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Two major things. One, it's okay to use the f-word, a lot, but there are NO anatomically correct terms used, which provides for some entertaining mental images. Two, [author's] continual use of people being "brought" (not brought to the edge/brought to the brink, just brought) and "going"/"went" instead of the words "coming" or "came" is just too special-snowflake. Again, amusing mental images, such as when [author] describes one of the male characters "going" on someone's chest - NOT the image I wanted there, okay. [Author] also describes a character who is "worrying" and "shaking" at his female partner's private area (trying to keep things PG for the review) like it's supposed to be SEXY. It made me reflexively cross my legs.
ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. [Author] feels this need to paint everyone who isn't on the same page when it comes to monogamy/polyamory as the bad guy. It doesn't make you less than if you don't like poly relationships anymore than it makes you better if you do like it, it just makes your relationship wants and needs different. If your partner isn't into sharing and you are then they're obviously not the right partner for you, and trying to ignore that fact or force them to change their mind is just going to make everyone involved miserable.... All of the ridiculous childish fighting. Why can no one in these books act like grown ups? 2 people were literally arguing over a chair!
Jesus Christ, this was the most monotonous, boring, difficult read. This coming from someone who actually reads the terms and agreements on pretty much everything.
I feel like I'm in for a grand old time. Be back soon with this terrible, terrible no good very bad book.